do you ever just wonder if there’s someone who secretly thinks about you and wants to talk to you but doesn’t know how
Finally decided to get off from facebook. I didn’t deactivated my account, I just signed off and deleted the app. From then, I will be stress free, no friends to worry about, and etc.. I might still open it, but not everyday.. Like just once a month maybe. I will be focusing on instagram and twitter more. Maybe learn to take good photos using my phone and my camera. And maybe read some of the iBooks i got which I haven’t really started. :) i’ll have more time in tumblr, gonna try writing slash blogging. If I have good things to say. :) this is for now. #instablog #photogram #photography #blog
And if you don’t want me in your life anymore as a friend after me asking for your forgiveness. It’s fine. I did what’s right. And you should’ve done yours. If you don’t want me anymore, I will not beg nor please you anymore. Cause thats me two years ago, and nothing happened.
I ended up pleasing people who actually didn’t even cared. So you all can live your life now, without me. I’ll take that. Once i’ve done everything I can, and you haven’t done yours, well thats it. Lets call it quits and never talk again.
Why is it so hard for you to forgive me?
I already knew this wouldn’t last.
You still have the guts to ignore me.
Like we never became friends in the past.
All I ever ask is your forgiveness.
But I think I can’t never get one from you.
I wanted to end this loneliness.
That I feel about you.
Please let me say this last.
I am really really sorry.
And I’m hoping this friendship will last.
Back to normal, nothing to worry.
I am very sorry.
Thus, this is my goodbye.
You don’t even need to worry.
I’ll leave you now, so long, goodbye.
I just want someone in my life who will treat me seriously, who will appreciate me and who will love me to be a part of their life.
But I really haven’t been that one person. Nor met someone like that.
Remember that one friend I used to blog about him not talking to me. Well we end up not talking. I gave all my sorry’s and tried to get him forgive me, but really? It ended up me being not forgiven afterall. I know I had a mistake, and I admit it. To tell my sorry is the hardest part, I know I wasn’t able to value the friendship he gave but I apologised for not seeing it. But what he did? He just ignored me. And seems like we never became friends.
And to be honest, I am really getting used to this scenario. First off, when me and my ex broke up — I lost a good friend. He decided not to talk to me again for almost two years now. And my highschool friends whom I thought who will be the best friends I’ll ever have, well they ended up being the worst and just cared about themselves and their new friends. And how about those college friends I got, well same. We all ended up not communicating at all. And if these people will do message me, I bet you a thousand bucks. They just need something for me. They are all the same. And they shouldn’t be surprised if they messaged me and the only thing i’ll have to say is, that they only knew me when they want slash need something. I really don’t care anymore if I lose them cause it’ll just be the same. As if nothing happened. I just want them to know already that I already hate them.
I guess I really don’t have a luck in getting friends. Cause I’m the one who is always left out. And now, I feel like they really don’t care about me anymore so why would I bother? I just wanted them to know I hated them so much right now.
And you know, sometimes I ask myself. What if something happened to me? Do my friends will still care about me? Or they’ll be treating me silently, like this?
Sometime I think that this will be my fate. I ended up “no friends” whom I can talk to, share all my stories to, and to cry on. I will be the one ended up alone. I will end up no one will love me except for my family.
It sucks to be in my position right now. I only have a blog whom I can just rant to, it really sucks bigtime. This is the only way I can let my feelings out.